Sunday, May 17, 2020

Moving My Cheese

I've recently read a book recommended by a dear friend. It was short, sweet, and definitely a good read. I will not say it was life changing, but I will say it was life affirming and life confirming, as it was another layer of confirmation that I am headed in the right direction. The book is called Who Moved My Cheese? and I highly recommend it. In short it is a parable about dealing with changes in your life, whether it be work, education, or personal. The ideas could be applied to anything. I will not spoil any part of the book, but it is a quick read (I read it in a day). It is a book I know I will read again.

It was quite timely, as my life has been full of changes in the past year or so. Changes in jobs, relationships, children, locations. Changes in how and why I craft. This book helped me to see I was already on the right path, and was already making good choices. My perspective on dealing with change and how I view it was what was affected the most. It made me stop and consider how I view change, whether it is good, bad, ugly, planned, or unexpected. 

I am and have always been a big picture kind of person, having the practice and ability to put my current situation into a bigger picture and gaining a perspective in context of other things that are occurring. A bigger picture has always helped me see that things in my life are nearly always temporary and things that happen are nearly always things that are transitory and can be overcome or lived through. Who Moved My Cheese? helped me see that yes, things are temporary, but that changes will always come and my attitude in how I deal with any change can help me grow or it can help me wither and stagnate. 

Some big changes that were quite challenging and hard and I haven't like to talk about include the total disintegration of my marriage and the loss of my home. More changes in recent years came in the form of transitioning from a well-educated happy stay-at-home mom to a well-educated struggling working mom. I was fortunate to find decent work, but the process was a challenge. All is good and will continue to be so. My family is good and we have a lot to be thankful for. In the process of all that change, my crafting life went into a hibernation of sorts, a kind of unplanned sabbatical. A necessary trimming of everything that was not necessary to bring calm and stability to my family occurred. 

Now, just now, in 2020 (and don't they say hindsight is 20/20?), I am finding a measure of calm that comes with new dreams and new directions. In the middle of this pandemic. In the middle of this quarantine. In the middle of all these life altering historical events. All things cancelled. Travel restrictions in my state, country, and globally. Mask wearing in public places. Most shopping places either closed, or highly altered. Everyone is zooming and facetiming and staying connected in the most innovative ways.....but all this is a rabbit trail. 

In the fall I will start yet another new journey, as I will begin another level in my education as a graduate student finally. I consider this an investment in myself, and no one can comprehend my level of excitement. 

I hope above all things that my children know they are loved and that I would do anything to be the best example to them. I hope to show them strength and vulnerability. I hope they see determination and contentment in me, and also the ability to adapt and change as needed. I hope they learn love and grace in dealing with each other and the world. 

Music and crafting and good friends and family have been paramount to my healing and growing process. Music and crochet are still my main escapes and coping mechanisms, and I am totally fine with that. One change since last year is that I have added music to my crafting adventures, odd as that sounds. It is often imperfect and spontaneous, but it is real and it is me. 

So much of my current life feels like coming out of a fog and finding all sorts of things that I have somehow missed along the way. These are not regrets or disappointments. They are small joys. New music. New books. New friends. All joys. I do not live a lifestyle of regret or think back to the past and wish things had been or could have been different. I am glad of all that has happened so far, good and bad, the joys and the heartbreaks. All good. All me. 

Don't laugh, but here is a song that is fairly new to me, but I love it. 

Well, I've walked these streets
A virtual stage, it seemed to me
Makeup on their faces
Actors took their places next to me
Well, I've walked these streets
In a carnival, of sights to see
All the cheap thrill seekers vendors and the dealers
They crowded around me
Have I been blind have I been lost
Inside myself and my own mind
Hypnotized, mesmerized by what my eyes have seen?
Well, I've walked these streets
In a spectacle of wealth and poverty
In the diamond markets the scarlet welcome carpet
That they just rolled out for me
And I've walked these streets
In the madhouse asylum they can be
Where a wild-eyed misfit prophet
On a traffic island stopped and he raved of saving me
Have I been blind, have I been lost
Inside myself and my own mind
Hypnotized, mesmerized
Source: LyricFind

I will close with this, me singing to you. And I do ask myself:
Have I been blind?
Have I been lost?
Inside myself and my own mind?
Hypnotized, mesmerized
By what my eyes have seen
Have I been wrong?
Have I been wise?
To shut my eyes and play along?

Have I been wrong? (lots of times)
Have I been wise? (not always)
Have I been strong (yes)
These are songs from my KittenYarn page on facebook,  You can get to my main KittenYarn facebook page here. 

sending you blessings and peace and much love