Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Reflections on Motherhood at Christmas

I am getting very excited about Christmas, my ultrasound, and getting ready to visit family. Last minute shopping, wrapping presents, trying to catch up on laundry, dishes, bag up the garbage....

I am also finding it difficult to slow down and reflect on why God sent His son. He said, Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men. Babies being born are almost always good news, though at times controversial. Some people are not happy with the birth of a new baby, like the king when Jesus was born. Can you imagine? When Jesus was around 2 yrs old, the king sent out soldiers to kill all the little boys of that age, trying to kill this one child. Now that is crazy, and mean-hearted.

Sometimes people are not happy with an unexpected baby, or one that seems to disrupt plans like school or work. Sometimes babies are born to irresponsible and neglectful people. Having a baby is a wonderful and awesome responsibility.

I have friends who cannot physically have a baby, and I see their grief as they watch growing families around them. There are those who have continued miscarriages and live with a silent grief. May God comfort all those who mourn.

I take being a mother a wonderful gift and serious responsibility. These children are put into my care to raise and love and teach. I try to imagine how young Mary felt about baby Jesus, and the weight of that responsibility. I mean, giving birth to the Messiah, the Saviour of the World, God who became man? At one point, as baby Jesus is growing and the Magi have come with their gifts, the shepherds have come and gone, it says something like, "Mary pondered all these things in her heart." She took time to consider. Maybe she wondered why God had chosen her, and if she would succeed in being his mother.

Sometimes I feel the same with my children. I am thankful to be chosen to be a mother, and sometimes I wonder why me, and not others. Then I think, well, I will keep asking God for wisdom and love and patience for my children. I will do my best to teach them the truth. I am sure that is what Mary did, too. So today, I will try to practice putting my trust in the One True God and be thankful to Him, even if my list of stuff to do seems overwhelming or distracting.


Anonymous said...

My second pregnancy was unplanned and, at the time, very much unwanted. It may sound incredibly harsh to say, but at the time it was true. I felt so very guilty for having those feelings, and I was convinced that the innocent little baby growing inside of me knew that it wasn't wanted. It wasn't unloved, just resented for it's very presence. I had a horrible time being pregnant and was sick and miserable the entire time.

That little unplanned for baby is now 3 1/2, and very much loved and wanted. I can't imagine my life without him. I can only figure God had a reason for giving him to me, although I may never know exactly what that reason was/is. I still carry a whole lot of guilt with me for my feelings during my pregnancy with him. All I can do now, though, is love him and his brother with all my heart and go from here. said...

In your dad's point of view you are no different than Mary. Your child is a daughter or son of god. We are one. We are son's and daughters of god. That is the message I get from Jesus and the Apostles. We are all chosen to be.
Merry Christmas.

Alipurr said...

Alissa, you should stop feeling guilty. You are a wonderful and loving mom, and no matter how much of a struggle the beginning was, he will remember what happens now much more. I think God picked you especially for him. You gotta forgive yourself, and like you said go from here.

Dad, that is really sweet to say

Motherkitty said...

My arms are waiting to hold the new baby.

The thing about grandmothers is that no matter how many grandbabies there are, there's always room on grandma's lap for one more and more love than can be counted to go around.

Your loving back-rubber. Motherkitty

Sandy Hatcher-Wallace said...

All pregnancies are God's gifts to us and meant to be. I loved your post very much and can't wait to hear what gender this child will be.

doubleknot said...

Bless you - from reading your blog I know you are a wonderful mother. Like alissa I too resented my second pregnancy and was given a child with special needs. He is grown now and in a special place where the people love him and take care of him since I no longer can. I loved him and took care of him as long as I could.