Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Honesty

Just to show you how funny real life is....After trying to encourage myself and others to speak positively yesterday, I had to go to the local hospital for routine out-patient lab work. The girls were with me, and they did great while we waited for my turn. They were very sweet as they said hello to people in the waiting room, and ate their snacks. The trouble came as I was pulling out of the parking lot. Now you know I have this Big Green Van. We have only had it since Thanksgiving, and only recently got it back after weeks at the transmission shop (waiting to be ransomed out). So....I was pulling out slowly, looking in my mirrors trying to make sure I wasn't going to back in to any cars. As soon as I barely backed out of the space, a big fancy car (like a cadillac or something similar, pretty and shiny) zipped into the space I had just pulled out of. He didn't wait for me to pull out of the way or anything. What that driver did was dangerous! How many of us just reverse, switch into drive and just drive on when we are exiting a parking lot. I thought that it was common courtesy to wait til someone was completely finished pulling out of a parking space before pulling in. Well, anyway, I am trying to avoing the bad part. I called the guy a jerk, and not just quietly under my breath. As I continued out of the parking lot, there were two more cars waiting and looking for parking spots. They were side by side and clogging the lane, and at first I did not realize that one of them was not a parked car. I stopped and waited as I saw another car reverse out of a parking spot and one of the waiting cars pulled in that spot. So I slowly progressed toward the exit way of the parking lot (I was the only one driving in the correct direction as this parking lot has one entrance and one exit on this side of the street), and I happened to look at the face of the woman who was going the wrong way, still waiting for a spot. Her face was angry, she was looking at me, and she was saying loud ugly words that I could not hear. I could not figure out what I did wrong, but her angry look and unheard angry words directed towards me unnerved me. It rattled me, and made me wonder what I did wrong. I tried to console myself in that I was doing the best I could to drive safely, and that she may not have been talking to me directly. I realized I felt guilty about what I did do wrong, calling that guy a jerk. And then I had to spend the next 15 minutes explaining to the girls that even though the person was driving dangerously and not carefully, I still shouldn't have called him a jerk. I asked them to forgive me and I told them that I was wrong. That may seem like a small thing, but to me it is a big thing. I don't want my children hear me say that I am trying to be loving and nice like God wants me to be, and then talk ugly to people.

Thankfully God and my children are merciful. I suppose it is good for them to see that no one is perfect, and that when we are wrong, we should just say so, and not try to justify what we did or said. This is a big concept, and one I have been trying to explain to Dancer Girl. So, hopefully my honesty and example of being real and asking God and them for forgiveness will help her see that she should be honest too. She is really cute when you point blank ask her something like, "Did you put away your dress-up clothes?" and she'll answer back, "Yes." Then I say,"If I go right now to check..."and she doesn't hear the rest, because she is running back to her room to make sure she gets there before I do. I find myself saying the same things my mother always told me about putting things away when you are done with them. Ha Ha Ha. Light bulb moment. It didn't make me pick my stuff up when my mom told me that, so what makes me think it'll work when I say it? Well, I don't really care if she keeps her room perfect or picks up all her stuff. I would much rather she be honest, and not be afraid to tell me the truth. Why are people afraid to tell each other the truth?

(now it is your turn to answer...)

3 comments:

Motherkitty said...

See, you have turned into your mother without even trying. It's all in the genes. Every mother/daughter combo goes through this.

I still call bad and inconsiderate drivers "jerks" and other nasty things when I see them driving poorly. That doesn't mean that I don't like these people (even if I don't know them); I just think they are lousy drivers and that I have a right to my opinion. So, there! And, it's a good tension-reliever.

I hope you remember my being disgusted (when you were around 16 years old) with your room and finally just closing the door so I wouldn't have to look at the mess.

Lab results? Please advise.

jellyhead said...

To answer your question...maybe we are less than truthful becasue we are afraid we won't be loved if people know our failings and weaknesses. I know the times I have fibbed (OK, lied) have been when I didn't want my parents or friends to be disappointed with me...or more recently, when trying not to hurt someone's feelings. To give an example, the other day someone close to me asked if I thought she'd gained weight. That one is TOUGH. I tried to avoid an outright lie but she pinned me down to a yes/no answer and I caved and told an untruth!! (Don't hate me now, will you?!)

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Glad everything is back to normal.

Other drivers are just plain jerks and that's all there is to it. Parking lots are the most dangerous places to drive.

Remember "Twanda" (or something like that) in Fried Green Tomatoes?
Sometimes I feel like her.