Monday, May 22, 2006

Meaningful posts

It has been a while since I have written anything but quick updates. I have been so busy with little ones and helping mom as she heals from knee surgery that I have not shared much. Not much about me, not much about what my yarn is doing. Not much about what my kittens are doing (yes, there are cute fuzzy kittens at my house)

As usual, Little One is climbing on my lap for her morning "milkies." So any typoes from this point on are entirely unintentional ;). So for those of you who don't know, I like to nurse my babies til they say they are done. My Little One is just a little over two, and if that grosses you out, I blow you a raspberry.....ppptthhh. My Dancer Girl, who is now 4.5, nursed til she was 2.5. Actually, I thought I might be tandem nursing, as she nursed through my whole pregnancy with Little One. And then, three weeks before Little One was born, Dancer Girl just said, "All done," and that was that. She said she was sharing with baby sister, and was so sweet about it.

I have this love/hate thing with natural & attachment parenting type stuff. Now that my girls are 2 and 4, and mostly still sleep with us, I can squint my eyes and see a pinch of value in the cry it out thing. Just a pinch. I also can see gobs of value in eating healthy, whole, raw foods, no hormones, preservatives, etc. etc. in my food, but that didn't stop me from eating chocolate cheesecake for breakfast yesterday, right after I had a small bowl of Honey Smacks (with organic 2% milk, of course). Yes, I carried my babies. I wore my babies. I slung them on and tried to get things done. I love, love, love my sling, unused as it is now. But there always came a certain point in each day where I just fizzled out (usually nap time). I would find myself asleep on the couch (sitting up) with two little ones sleeping on me. After that I would rearrange big sister on the couch and try to lay little one in her bed. There are only so many times you do that and get screaming and crying and not staying asleep (no matter what you try to do to soothe them), when you just give up and sit back down on the couch and nurse the baby back to sleep.

As soon as you sit down, you are also giving up the entire afternoon of "household productivity." You know, putting a load in the washer, carrying all the dirty dishes to the kitchen, picking up the garbage, scooping the litter, putting some laundry in the dryer, picking up the scattered dress-up clthes & dirty towels in the bathroom, trying to unload the dishwashwer....Waaaaaahhhh! Maaaammmmaaa! That was a mistake. Note to self: unload dishwasher when children are awake.

Then, when they wake up, the children want a snack (= more dirty dishes).

All this....and I still love being a stay at home mom. I don't like being drained. I don't like the mess, but I love my girls. And I don't regret most of the parenting decisions my husband and I have made.

So know you know how much I ramble when I type, because I type a little like I talk. Nonstop, my husband would say. Or at least he used to say that. On a car trip recently, husband looked over at me, and stared in awe at how quiet I was. Juxtapose this to the happy NONSTOP singing and jabbering coming from the backseat( he calls Little One his little burning bush, like in the Three Amigos with Steve Martin). He couldn't figure it out, and all I could do was smile.

p.s. Don't you like how many sentences started with "and" and "but"? Kind of annoying, isn't it?


Motherkitty said...

Very revealing post. And cute.

I finally figured out why Dancer Girl would not eat her breakfast yesterday morning. While I was cooking, she and I had a little conversation (that I thought was inconsequential and I promptly forgot about it) which went something like this:

DG: I want to eat in the living room.
GM: No, at my house we eat at the table (if it's cleaned off but I didn't tell her that).
DG: But at our house mother lets us eat in the living room.
GM: Well, this isn't your house and today we will be eating at the table. I don't want any food in the living room.
DG: I want to eat in the living room.
GM: I said no and I mean no.

I might say this was the end of the story and that's all she wrote until I figured out that's why she refused to eat her food -- just to show us who's really boss of her stomach. It was like one of those little epiphanies you get in the shower. Ahha, I see. My, aren't we getting all grown up and independent. You're not going to tell me what to do -- I'll show you. And you, mother, and me, grandmother, were innocent and ignorant of the whole thing. (Her reward, going to McD's for an afternoon of fast food and fun.)

Just thought you would enjoy this little insight into your grown-up daughter.

Alipurr said...

the McD wasn't a reward because it was my surprise, and sanity saver....she had no idea about it until we pulled into the parking lot....she had no idea we would be stopping at all to eat because we usually don't stop. It probably had more to do with the fact that the TV is in the living room and she wasn't getting to watch it that upset her the most. Weaning from TV is almost worse than weaning from nursing

Lisa-Anne said...

Hey Alison!
You know I'm pregnant... where did you find CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE and did you save me any??? lol! If it's a recipe, I'm begging for it! :)
I haven't gained a single pound this pregnancy, actually, I'm down 23 pounds! So if I have a little slice of cheesecake, nobody's gonna mind! haha! :)
Love ya!

Alipurr said...

Lisa-anne, hubby bought it for me at good ole Wally World. It was one of those cheesecake variety packs...chocolate swirl, double chocolate, chocolate with chocolate chips, etc.

doubleknot said...

You aren't alone in nursing longer then the American woman usually does. I nursed my son till he was two - it was the only way to bond with him. I lived over seas and mother's there nurse their children until the child decides to stop or the milk dries up.
Your children sound like nice normal kids so you must be doing something right.
I don't believe in letting a child lay there and scream for Mommy - that was done to me and I think it warped me - I mean more then I already am LOL
Keep loving them - they grow so fast.

Franny said...

i laugh every time i think about nursing the twins...i used to joke that we would lay them on the ground and i would get on my hands and knees, kinda like a cow with baby calves. (ppl would laugh nervously and wander away...)

hats off to you all, anyways. you have a gift and an opportunity that you are truly embracing.

manababies said...

LOL I think most of my sentences start with 'and' and 'but'. :)

This was a good post to read, particularly because lately we've had some huge challenges with our youngest, who is nearly 9 months old. I try to do the attachment parenting thing, but I fizzle out sooner or later, and ultimately I get so overwhelmed with all the things that have to get done that aren't child-related (like dishes, for instance). I guess it's about finding balance somehow... but now I know that this time when the kiddies are young flies by SO quickly. I look at the baby and see my 5 year old because they look so much like one another, and I just can't believe that the older one was once that small.

But anyway, we're dealing with the nightwaking issue, since the baby sleeps with us. I'm not really sure what to do, but you can bet that when she DOES sleep, it's the most blissful kind of slumber being snuggled up next to her. And I need to keep in mind that the hubby (who was not brought up breastfed OR sleeping in his parents' bed) has been so understanding - with all three kids. :)

Anyway, this is a rambling comment that probably has no point to it. hehe I think (from what I know from your and your mom's blog) that you're an awesome mommy.

And I'm LMAO over Franny's comment.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I devoted all my attention to my children while they were awake, playing and taking care of their needs but
I used nap times to clean the house and bedtimes were at 8pm for them. I stayed up late getting other things done. I cooked three good hot meals a day and their dad was there to enjoy each meal with us. He would come home from work for his meals...he wasn't a sandwich eater.

Without a routine, with 3 little stairsteps I would never have been able to provide them with a clean environment to play in and for us to live in.